A movie drabble, for a change.

[rabidsamfan]

Because I've been wallowing in the screencaps from shadowfax8 and I haven't worked out the kinks in the "sam waking up movieverse" ficlet.

This one's inspired by the shot of Sam you can find at.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/shadowfax8/32716.html#cutid1

cap 1824… (near the bottom)



Ashes

I’ve nothing left inside. I can hear your voice, and you are glad that the task is done, but I can’t even feel that joy.

I didn’t let you fall.

But there’s nowhere left to go, except a few more feet up this bit of rock. That won’t be enough. The mountain is destroying itself, same as it destroyed the Ring.

I couldn’t let you fall.

It seemed so clear. I had to save you. I had to take your hand. But now we are here, and my head aches and my heart is numb.

Why can’t I save you?

Comments

[teasel.livejournal.com]

Great peek into Sam's mind when he reaches his lowest ebb; it's a fascinating and poignant moment. When the task he's worked so hard for is done, that's when he despairs.

If I had to vote on save vs. pull in the second to last paragraph, I'd vote for save; for me the similar language emphasizes the *reversal* that happens in Sam's mind between the moment when he's still working with his old instincts (save Frodo at all costs) and the moment when he realizes that there is nothing more he can do (he can't save Frodo). I see Sam here not so much as building slowly toward understanding as revising all his old opinions in a sudden and wrenching way.

I do like this very much as it stands. One possibility, if you're dead set on revising (though I'm not sure that's necessary): To save a word, change "you are glad" to "you're glad" in line one, and then change "Why can't I save you?" to "Why can't I save you now?" That revision might reinforce the sense of a *deliberate* contrast rather than an accidental repetition -- but perhaps at the expense of simplicity and immediacy in Sam's language.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not dead set on anything when it comes to revisions. One of the joys of language to me is the subtlety with which we can express ourselves by the words we choose and the order we place them in. I've got a couple of possible muckabouts stewing in my fevered brain, but I like the original version quite a bit.

It's an interesting thing to me that this is one of the places where the movie veered most sharply from the book. In the book, Sam feels great joy, and an almost perverse optimism after the destruction of the Ring. And he's still comforting Frodo. But it's nice to see Frodo notice how much he's given up and give him a hug in the film -- I've come to like both versions.