rabidsamfan: samwise gamgee, I must see it through (Default)
[personal profile] rabidsamfan
Not sure where this one came from -- not exactly... It has the feel of a draft to me, somehow, so feel free to make suggestions if you think it could be improved.



On the way to the city the Rohirrim turned their horses aside. Sam, mounted on a pony he barely knew and sleepy from a long night of talking, woke from his contemplations to find himself amongst the silent, solemn riders. He let himself be carried along, and if he wondered why each rider paused in passing to fetch up a stone from a fallen wall, he knew this was not the time to ask.

They came to a bare, burnt place that stank even yet of fear and defeat, and there the cavalcade split apart and rode around the tormented ground. Across the way, Sam could see that he was not the only hobbit in the riding. Merry rode whitefaced behind Eomer, his eyes averted from the scorched earth as he balanced a stone twice the size of both his frightened fists against his saddlehorn.

And now Sam could see a pile of new earth, still too raw for more than a scattering of grass, too small to be one of the earthworks that marked the fallen companies that had defended Gondor, and yet too large a grave for a Man, and he understood at last. This was where Merry's friend had died, and his horse with him, thrown down by the same Black Rider that had stabbed Frodo on Weathertop all those long months ago. They'd taken the old king of Rohan up to the City, according to Pippin, but not his horse.

Eomer stood in his stirrups and looked out over the gathered Riders and began to sing in his own language. He had a high, strong voice, which carried clean and clear over the creak of leather and the soft thumps of shifting hooves on the thick sod. Sam didn't know the words, but he knew the young King sang of honor and of sorrow by the way that the others sat straighter and let the tears slip down their cheeks.

One by one, they rode to the mound and added stones, adding their voices now to Eomer's lament, repeating the strain until even Sam could sing with them, if only he'd felt he had the right. But he hadn't known the man or the horse, hadn't been in the battle, hadn't seen more than the reflections off the tears on Merry's face.

And yet the grief was part of him; not so real perhaps as the grief he'd felt at his mother's grave, or in the never-to-be-thought-of / never-to-be-forgotten dark atop the pass of Cirith Ungol; but realer, still, than the faraway grief of a tale, no matter how true. He swept his sleeve across his eyes, and wished he'd stayed away. He had no right to be here.

They were coming to the end of the line of Riders now, and the burial mound was near three times the size it once had been. At one end of the pile Eomer was laying a shield, engraved with writing, and Merry was propping it into place with his stone. They were turning away, heading back to rejoin Aragorn, and Frodo, and the rest. Sam's pony wanted to go with them, and so did Sam, but he hesitated. The mound looked wrong to him – too bare and empty somehow. Even the barrows of the wights had borne green grass.

He dismounted and went over to look at the stones, and they reminded him of the garden wall at Bag End. There was room here, to tuck in soil, and seed. There was shade for small flowers, like the clover blossoms that still showed defiantly in the sod that had been torn by dozens of hooves. On impulse he knelt and cut out a bit of sod with his belt knife, tucked it into a crevice where it looked like it might thrive. And there was another piece he could place, and another. He was wondering how to water his plantings with something better than his own too-easy tears when he realized that he wasn't alone.

The glare of the sun made him squint as he looked up, and the hand he raised to shade his eyes was dirty. "It needs flowers," he explained, in a voice that came out cracked, before he realized it was Gandalf who had come. Shadowfax snorted, and nodded his head in what looked so much like agreement that Gandalf laughed and Sam felt his own mouth curve upwards. "And water," he added, "if you've any to spare."

"I do," said Gandalf, and handed down a flask.

Sam watered his bit of clover, and put the cork back in, feeling better for the gesture, no matter how small. He climbed back onto his pony and handed Gandalf back the water flask. It was easier from up here. Then he waited as Gandalf and Shadowfax went once, twice, thrice, around the raised mound, in a ritual that the horse seemed to know better than the wizard.

When that was done they turned away again, and Sam took comfort from riding beside them. They did not mind if he grieved.

Behind them, through the rocks that were piled so high, the green grass and bright clover began to grow anew.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 12:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jewelsong.livejournal.com
This? Is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, my dear.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 12:56 am (UTC)
ancalime8301: viola (sam)
From: [personal profile] ancalime8301
*cries with Sam*

I have to say that I have no idea how you could improve this... crying is the highest praise I can give a story (as odd as that may sound...).

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 12:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mordelhin.livejournal.com
Whoa - this kind of knocked me for a loop, because I couldn't figure out where it was going at first. Now I'm all sniffly, because the bit about Snowmane's Howe always makes me cry. I think it's the moment that Theoden's death suddenly hits home, because before that everyone (including the reader) is caught up in the manic flow of the battle and there just isn't time to grieve. But I swear, that damn couplet makes me bawl every time.

Sam's actions seem just right, and flow from his character. The only suggestions I'd make are with some minor issues in the first paragraph.

On the way to the city the Rohirrim turned their horses aside. Sam, mounted on a pony he barely knew and sleepy from a long night of talking, woke from his contemplations to find himself amongst the silent, solemn riders.

Are they riding from Ithilien? I'm not sure where to really place this in the timeline. And the second line is a bit run-on.

He let himself be carried along, and if [he?]wondered why each rider paused in passing to fetch up a stone from a fallen wall, he knew this was not the time to ask.

The first few paragraphs still have a warm-up feel to them, like you really started to get into the groove around the fourth one or so. Nothing a bit of spit and polish couldn't take care of. :-)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 01:09 am (UTC)
shirebound: (Default)
From: [personal profile] shirebound
Oh my, that's so wonderful. We each have our own part to play, large or small, and I suspect Sam's 'simple gesture' is larger and more important than he'll ever know. Lovely.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rubynye.livejournal.com
Faithful servant yet master’s bane,.
Lightfoot’s foal, swift Snowmane


*wipes eyes*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 02:22 am (UTC)
ext_28878: (Default)
From: [identity profile] claudia603.livejournal.com
Lovely! I love how it just came from his heart and seemed so much more meaningful, somehow...

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allisona.livejournal.com
This story touched me so much, this week especially. I identified so strongly with Sam, uncomfortable in his sincere grief next to those who seemed closer and more intimate with the loss they honoured. Sam's simple actions, joined by Gandalf's, were so beautiful, the story made me cry.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 03:14 am (UTC)
dreamflower: gandalf at bag end (Default)
From: [personal profile] dreamflower
This is just beautiful, RSF. It is like Sam to feel that no tribute is quite complete without something green and growing.
His grief, in sympathy with theirs, is so sweet and touching.

Eomer stood in his stirrups and looked out over the gathered Riders and began to sing in his own language. He had a high, strong voice, which carried clean and clear over the creak of leather and the soft thumps of shifting hooves on the thick sod. Sam didn't know the words, but he knew the young King sang of honor and of sorrow by the way that the others sat straighter and let the tears slip down their cheeks.

That scene was so vivid; I could almost hear it.

And Gandalf giving the water--that touched me even more for some reason.

And it would not surprise me if Merry had noticed his friend's gesture and appreciated it.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] b-briarwood.livejournal.com
Oh, that was beautiful. I wouldn't change a thing.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 03:37 am (UTC)
ext_2877: Long-time default (Default)
From: [identity profile] blackbird-song.livejournal.com
This is so beautiful, and it actually brought a tear to my eye, which is extremely rare. Thank you so much for posting this piece. I always loved Snowmane (when I was a child, I cried when he was killed), and am glad to see him given this lovely tribute.

Catherine

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elendiari22.livejournal.com
This is absolutely brilliant. I'm loving it to pieces.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fictualities.livejournal.com
Wonderful. Love your tacit explanation for the green grass T. describes on Snowmane's Howe in later years -- it's like Sam's presence blessed it. You have Sam nailed, as always -- but I'm especially delighted by your Gandalf, who here as in the Shire has this knack for noticing Sam and realizing that he has a part to play. Terrific stuff.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lindelea1.livejournal.com
*wipes away a tear*

Deeply moving.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melilot-hill.livejournal.com
This is really beautiful!!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] semyaza.livejournal.com
This is gorgeous, and oh so shivery. It doesn't sound like a draft to me; it's done and not a word out of place. Sam seems small and insignificant next to Shadowfax, and yet his response to the moment is perfect.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lame-pegasus.livejournal.com
And yet the grief was part of him; not so real perhaps as the grief he'd felt at his mother's grave, or in the never-to-be-thought-of / never-to-be-forgotten dark atop the pass of Cirith Ungol; but realer, still, than the faraway grief of a tale, no matter how true. He swept his sleeve across his eyes, and wished he'd stayed away. He had no right to be here.

Perfect. Don't you dare to change a thing.

*watery smile*

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 07:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] annwyn55.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] semyaza sent me, and I'm grateful she did. I love Sam's musing on the ways of grief, I love how what he does comes straight from his heart. I love your Sam. Thank you.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 08:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gayalondiel.livejournal.com
*sniffle*

Oh, how beautiful... don't change a thing :)

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 09:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ansostuff.livejournal.com
Oh, but this was very beautiful and sad and so right and a wonderful gap-filler! Thank you for writing this, I absolutely love it!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 10:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elycia.livejournal.com
This is gorgeous and delightful. I love Sam's perplexity giving way to understanding, in his own terms, and his finding his own way of honoring the dead. I also love Merry's obvious sorrow as seen through Sam's eyes.

Thanks SO much for this! What a lovely read.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-17 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zirconia-b.livejournal.com
I almost didn't read this -- I haven't been in the mood for fan fiction. But I'm glad I did. The song for Snowmane always made be cry in the book, more reliably than any other moment. The ceremony fits so wonderfully with the Rohirrim of my imagination: a sort of rich, heartfelt ritual, with singing and tears and honor and pride.

And... well, on a personal note, this was something I really needed to read. I had crossed paths with Nivina, but didn't know her well; I don't have memories to share, but I wish I could do something to comfort my many friends who feel the loss so deeply. You express it so well through Sam:

One by one, they rode to the mound and added stones, adding their voices now to Eomer's lament, repeating the strain until even Sam could sing with them, if only he'd felt he had the right. But he hadn't known the man or the horse, hadn't been in the battle, hadn't seen more than the reflections off the tears on Merry's face.

And yet the grief was part of him; not so real perhaps as the grief he'd felt at his mother's grave, or in the never-to-be-thought-of / never-to-be-forgotten dark atop the pass of Cirith Ungol; but realer, still, than the faraway grief of a tale, no matter how true. He swept his sleeve across his eyes, and wished he'd stayed away. He had no right to be here.


I love how Sam simply follows his heart and makes his own wonderfully Sam-like gesture. In a way, the story says to me, "follow your instincts; you may do more good than you realize." A wise lesson, I think.

Thank you for letting me cry.

(no subject)

Date: 2005-02-21 01:19 am (UTC)
ext_28821: (bilbo and frodo)
From: [identity profile] sayhello.livejournal.com
I was pointed to this story by [livejournal.com profile] zirconia_b She was right, it's a story I really liked. Very Sammish, very moving. You can feel grief for those who are grieving, even if you have not personally experienced the loss. And how can it be wrong to honor the loss that others are experiencing? Once again, Sam's hobbit-sense and compassion shine through.

Thank you. This is lovely and moving, and wonderfully original.

Hewene

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-04 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marigoldg.livejournal.com
This is lovely, and is a perfect ceremony for the Rohirrim! I imagine that whenever they have the opportunity to actually bury a fallen faithful steed they would give it honour.

I have two small suggestions for the same sentence, and am only pointing them out because I loved all of the rest of it so much, and you asked!

Merry rode whitefaced behind Eomer, his eyes averted from the scorched earth as he balanced a stone twice the size of both his frightened fists against his saddlehorn.


It isn't completely clear here at first if Merry is riding on his own pony behind Eomer. I am guessing that he is, because he has the stone balanced against his saddlehorn, which he wouldn't have in front of him if he were behind Eomer on the same horse. But wondering about it popped me out of the story for a moment. Having seen film Merry riding behind Eomer on his horse makes it doubly confusing for a moment.

The other thing was the size of both his frightened fists . I don't see where Sam would come up with this analogy at this particular moment. Merry can't be holding the rock in place with his fists - first why would he, and second, he is obviously holding the reins with one hand, so I don't see why this description would pop into Sam's head with no visual reference. Third, how can a fist be "frightened"? You might make a fist in fright, but the fist itself isn't frightened. "...the size of two fists" seems to me to work much better and more something that Sam would think.

Anyway, they are just tiny things! Really lovely story!

(no subject)

Date: 2005-03-08 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shoesparks.livejournal.com
I printed this out and showed it to my mother today...
She is 77 years old.
She has been a Tolkien Fan for longer than I have lived.
She loved this as much as I did...

Just wanted you to know...( I don't show her much slash...But even some of that) She says it"s silly! Sam and Frodo aren't gay...
hehehehe

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