Did I write that?

[rabidsamfan]

I've been rereading some of my older fics, trying to spark a fit of writing, and I've got to admit, some of it's not bad.

Fourteen Days was the first LotR fic I ever wrote or posted, and while part of me itches to do some minor revisions, even now I'm still pleased with most of it, and occasionally find myself reading along as if it were something written by another hand entirely.

Which of your fanfics -- from any fandom -- do you go back now and read and think "Did I write that?"

Comments

[lily-the-hobbit.livejournal.com]

I feel like that with pretty much all of my stories and not always in a positive way. If I look at my first few English stories I can only shake my head (and I must admit, I thought about taking them offline again several times), but then there are some that make me stare at my own words, such as The Bond Between Us or A Father's Worries.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Well, the Bond Between us is lovely, and I think you should be wonderfully proud of it. Haven't read the other yet -- I'm saving it for later.

[elendiari22.livejournal.com]

I feel like that with a few of the stories I wrote when first venturing to include myself in the fandom, particularly his one and this one. I still cringe when I remember these two. The only ones I can honestly look at and feel pleased about are "A Merry War" and "The Room of Tears".

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Well I admit to rather enjoying the first one of those links. It's considerably better than a good many of the stories I've slogged through in the past two years, and you did a nice job with the child-voices. (Haven't read the second yet, and I have to go and do some stuff so it will have to wait for later.)

But I'm more interested in the stories which you're still pleased with. Are they at Stories of Arda too? Links! Links!

[elendiari22.livejournal.com]

Yes, they're at Stories of Arda. Here's A Merry War and here's The Room of Tears. I'm also kind of fond of Masquerade, if only because it is such a departure from what I normally write.

[lindelea1.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Room of Tears haunted me for a long time afterwards.

[surgicalsteel.livejournal.com]

I feel that way about pretty much everything I've written - not always in a good way. There's some Trek fic I wrote a looooong time ago that I'm glad got destroyed in a move. :)

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Ah, Trek Fic! I have a lovely forty pager with one of my favorite Mary Sues......er....uh....well, maybe I shouldn't share that...

[shirebound]

"Light Out of Darkness" and "Sing Me Home". I cannot believe I wrote those.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

*spins you*

I love both of those!

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

Pretty much all of mine!

Sometimes it's a terribly cringy sinking in my belly and I wonder what crack I was on when I wrote it. Other times, it's a pleasant surprise and it seems like someone else must have written it because it's good.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

It's a strange feeling isn't it? I've been reading twenty year old Doctor Who fic that I was writing with my sister and I literally can't tell which one of us wrote what anymore. Sometimes I'm astounded to find the original notes in my handwriting.

[lindelea1.livejournal.com]

Haven't read "Fourteen Days" and wouldn't you know it, my turn at the Internet is up for the rest of the day.

Will have to check it out tomorrow (I hope!)

[lindelea1.livejournal.com]

Sheesh! Strike that, it seems I read chapter 1 at least, for there's a review from me there (the next person in line got distracted, yay!). And skimming, I recognise the story, yes, I remember Bergil and his saddle-sore state. It was done well enough that some parts stuck with me, and with my memory, that's saying something.

Nice! Looking forward to the rest of the chapters, which did not look familiar. I probably got interrupted right after reviewing the first chapter. Happens often.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

It was a while back, you're certainly forgiven for forgetting the title. I am constantly thinking of a fic and then wondering which one it was...

[clever-hobbit.livejournal.com]

I feel that all the time- in a good way with some things, but in a bad way with others, such as some of the stuff that's on the bottom of my ff.net story account. I keep swearing to myself that I'll go back and edit some of the typos and the phrasings that make me cringe, but I'm almost reluctant to do that because it'd be like tampering with somebody else's stuff, because I can't really believe I've written some of that.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Give it ten years, and then you can go read them and laugh. I certainly do, with some of my early stuff!

[ansostuff.livejournal.com]

Your writing is excellent and I love your stories so I really hope you will continue to write!

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

I'm trying! Honest!

[lame-pegasus.livejournal.com]

I like most of my stuff, even after more than two years of writing fanfiction. The two tales I don't like are Tired as Death (my very first fanfic and my contribution to Mary Borsellino's Pretty Good Year-universe, and NO, I WON'T send you the link)., and Chestnut and Honeysuckle (which I still consider as nothing more than a poor attempt - but I'm more or less reconciled with it, because of what followed after).

The one that always will be surprising me is Fear no more.

[lame-pegasus.livejournal.com]

... and of course my HP-drabble Lament (which you know, of course), and my very first Narnia/LOTR-crossover, written over a cup of coffee four days before Christmas.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Lament is wonderful, you know. I think the stories which I'm most likely to go back and stare at while I'm scratching my head are the ones which practically wrote themselves. Good or bad!

[mariole.livejournal.com]

This is a fascinating subject! Yes, I have just that experience. I look over a story that I wrote, and I think, "Did I write that?" In some cases, I didn't believe it, and had to search my files for a rough draft to prove to myself that I was indeed the author.

I think this is because, when I let a story go into the world, I just let it go. It becomes its own entity entirely. I don't feel possessive, but I wish it well. If I do happen upon one of my old fics (as happened a few days ago, I reread an old installment), my reaction is, "Really! Who'd a thunk?" But the editor will intrude, and inform me that I used "slinking" twice in two lines, and make me fix it. But older fics I don't even try to tinker with; I just read them and, if I can recall writing them (which I've already said is not always possible; I seem to have an erase-only memory) I look at what themes were compelling to me then, compared to what I choose to write about now. I like to think that I'm growing in wisdom as I stand upon this spinning ball, observing with astonishment the many facets of life.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Yes, sending a story out to make its own way does free it a good bit. I wouldn't hesitate to post a revision, but unless I'm fixing minor grammar, I'd probably let the original stand, just to look at and wonder.

[citrine2.livejournal.com]

I feel that way about everything I write! I guess I have to be in a certain mindset, and when I'm done the mindset goes away. A lot of my old stuff feels like someone else wrote it. I have a dark Silmarillion story that makes me cringe now-it's so full of canon-errors-but I wrote it in a white-hot fever of creation that I've never felt since, and I had such fun with the characters and the dialogue. I love it, poor crippled thing that it is.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

See, I'm utterly casual about canon-errors, because I view fanfic as a giant game of "What if?" If it's a fun story, it's a good story, in my book!

[danachan.livejournal.com]

You know, for all that I don't look kindly on a lot o my writing (old or new, it doesn't really matter), I really don't know how to answer that. The first time it happened -- that I recall, in this fandom -- it involved the first Frodo/Sam I'd ever written, Rain Kiss. I read it, quite randomly, and I really liked what I read. But I should give this a think, and come back and answer you again. I feel like cheating, picking that one again.

[lilybaggins.livejournal.com]

I usually don't go back and read old fics of mine... it's just too depressing! I usually hate them all... only one or two can I go back and read and not feel completely nauseated over.

I'm not sure why this is, because I know I've had some fics I was proud of at the moment of posting. It's just that I second-guess them all after I write them.