Storybit -- "R & R"
Mar. 22nd, 2004 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rabidsamfanA little later in the conversation with Frodo and Rosie.
Midmorning 3.25.1420
"I know him better than I do myself, Rose, and I know that he's not one to put himself forward. He hasn't a thing to offer you, from his standpoint, that you can't find better somewhere else. The gold Bilbo gave him he's spent helping others, and he's not got a roof of his own. And then there's the gossip. Merry and Pippin don't seem to come in for much of it, but they're always laughing these days. And I'm the nephew of Mad Baggins, and never had a reputation to begin with. But Sam -- it's hard on a hobbit to leave the Shire and come back. There's always fools ready to label him as queer. They’ll push him away if they can, and they mustn’t. He needs you, Rose. He needs someone to anchor him here."
"But isn't he anchored to you? And wouldn't you be jealous, if I took too much of his time?"
"Tis the other way around, Rose. The only thing holding me here is Sam. It doesn't work the other way, no matter how much I wish it did. I would never be jealous of you. Only grateful."
She looked away, "I was that jealous of you, while I was waiting for Sam to come back. And I feel it still sometimes, but never when I see him with you. It'd be like I was jealous of the sun for making the moon shine at night. Might as well be jealous of the Shire, for needing someone to plant trees around."
“I’m neither Sun, nor Shire,” Frodo said, shaken by her words.
“You are to Sam.”
“No. For Sam is the Shire, and if I am the Sun I am setting. Elrond healed me in Rivendell, Galadriel solaced my grief in Lothlorien, and Gandalf summoned me from death in Ithilien. It is only by the power of the three remaining Rings that I have been given the grace of a few years, and the three Rings are fading. They will leave Middle Earth in time.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
"I'm dying, Rose. I’ve seen it, and I know it is true. When the Three leave Middle Earth, all that keeps me from the cold and grief and shadow will be gone, and I shall slip deeper and deeper into pain and bitterness and death. And there will be nothing Sam can do to save me, but he will try, and that will break him."
"But..."
"But I can spare him that, if I go with Gandalf and the others. I've seen that too -- a future where Sam stays in the Shire, and is whole and well for many years. But it will require something -- something I cannot give him."
"Me?"
"A child." He took her hands in his. "I won't lie to you, Rose Cotton. If you choose this you shall always have times when you feel second best, because you do not need Sam as much as he needs you. You are the stronger, now. You will have to love him as he has loved me, knowing all the while that my eyes have gone to Bilbo -- yes, and even to the Ring -- before him. I might have withered without Sam's care, but it was always there, and I took it for granted. It is only now that I am learning how much it has meant to me."
Midmorning 3.25.1420
"I know him better than I do myself, Rose, and I know that he's not one to put himself forward. He hasn't a thing to offer you, from his standpoint, that you can't find better somewhere else. The gold Bilbo gave him he's spent helping others, and he's not got a roof of his own. And then there's the gossip. Merry and Pippin don't seem to come in for much of it, but they're always laughing these days. And I'm the nephew of Mad Baggins, and never had a reputation to begin with. But Sam -- it's hard on a hobbit to leave the Shire and come back. There's always fools ready to label him as queer. They’ll push him away if they can, and they mustn’t. He needs you, Rose. He needs someone to anchor him here."
"But isn't he anchored to you? And wouldn't you be jealous, if I took too much of his time?"
"Tis the other way around, Rose. The only thing holding me here is Sam. It doesn't work the other way, no matter how much I wish it did. I would never be jealous of you. Only grateful."
She looked away, "I was that jealous of you, while I was waiting for Sam to come back. And I feel it still sometimes, but never when I see him with you. It'd be like I was jealous of the sun for making the moon shine at night. Might as well be jealous of the Shire, for needing someone to plant trees around."
“I’m neither Sun, nor Shire,” Frodo said, shaken by her words.
“You are to Sam.”
“No. For Sam is the Shire, and if I am the Sun I am setting. Elrond healed me in Rivendell, Galadriel solaced my grief in Lothlorien, and Gandalf summoned me from death in Ithilien. It is only by the power of the three remaining Rings that I have been given the grace of a few years, and the three Rings are fading. They will leave Middle Earth in time.”
“I don’t understand,” she said.
"I'm dying, Rose. I’ve seen it, and I know it is true. When the Three leave Middle Earth, all that keeps me from the cold and grief and shadow will be gone, and I shall slip deeper and deeper into pain and bitterness and death. And there will be nothing Sam can do to save me, but he will try, and that will break him."
"But..."
"But I can spare him that, if I go with Gandalf and the others. I've seen that too -- a future where Sam stays in the Shire, and is whole and well for many years. But it will require something -- something I cannot give him."
"Me?"
"A child." He took her hands in his. "I won't lie to you, Rose Cotton. If you choose this you shall always have times when you feel second best, because you do not need Sam as much as he needs you. You are the stronger, now. You will have to love him as he has loved me, knowing all the while that my eyes have gone to Bilbo -- yes, and even to the Ring -- before him. I might have withered without Sam's care, but it was always there, and I took it for granted. It is only now that I am learning how much it has meant to me."
