rabidsamfan: samwise gamgee, I must see it through (ragged mountain)
[personal profile] rabidsamfan


There was nothing on the radio that morning. Just the usual DJ's making the usual jokes.

The guy on the bus told me the news like it was almost a joke -- like the plane that had hit the first tower was small, and fairly harmless.

I got to work and we put on the tv. I honestly can't tell you if the second plane had hit or not, because they kept re-running footage over and over. I remember the small dark dots that were people jumping. I remember the tower collapsing. The pictures of the dust cloud enveloping street after street.

The cut-ins from Washington, the news casters fretting about the planes that were missing.

The gradual realisation that this wasn't an accident.

I remember watching the sky for days afterwards -- the extraordinary clarity of the weather, the silences that struck you even in the heart of the city, and especially near my home, which is blocks away from Logan Airport, where the planes had started that morning.

I remember the first plane I saw in the air, however many days later, coming in low for a landing at Hanscom Field and the horrid knot in my stomach that it gave me.

So many people lost, from so many countries of the world.

I still don't understand.

But I remember.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-11 10:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rubynye.livejournal.com
*nod* from a fellow Bostonian.

And a hug, if you would like it.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-11 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lame-pegasus.livejournal.com
I ran into the news three years ago, not having a single idea what was going on... and suddenly I saw the anchor man of the TV channel, sitting with a pale, worried face, two burning towers behind him. The first thought I had was: Why the hell do they have movies like these on a time of the day when children watch??.

i spent the whole afternoon in front of the TV screen, numb with shock.

We "old europeans" remember, too. And we care.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-11 11:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cpsings4him.livejournal.com
I was at work. I had just found out that the surgery that I'd had 9 months before to open my fallopian tubes so that my husband and I could start a family, had failed. I had an appointment to see a reproductive endocrinoligist scheduled for the next day. That morning, I was having to help the back-up mail clerk with the mail. The regular clerk was out on vacation and the back-up was about 7 months pregnant and couldn't lift the full mail tubs so I had gone with her to the post office to help. As we were on our way back, I ignored the bright beauty of the perfect almost autumn morning as I mused that I wished it was me who was unable to pick up heavy objects because I was too pregnant. I wanted to be the one carrying a baby that needed to be protected. Such self-centered thoughts as I look back on them now.

When we got back to the office, somone met us in the hall and asked if we had heard. Heard about what? The first plane had crashed into the first building...everyone was in the board room watching it on the tv in there. We hurried to the board room where everyone was gathered. Silence. Everyone except the news anchor was silent. As I watched, before my very eyes, that second plane crashed into the second building. It was totally surreal. Moments later, the buildings began to collapse. Unbelieveable silence in a room full of people.

Our CEO, who is a former Navy Seal and retired Commander (I think that's right...I always get his title mixed up!) of the US Navy was the first to speak. He said, "We need to make some glass out of sand." The only thing I was thinking in that moment was that, suddenly my problems seemed very small.

Three years ago today

Date: 2004-09-12 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eykar.livejournal.com
I was at the hospital watching my mother die of cancer, in a bed, with an IV full of pain-killers, surrounded by family and community. Every time I wandered down to the family lounge and raised my eyes to the TV I felt a dim echo of what it must be like to know that your loved ones are trapped in a burning building, crushed in a crashed plane, jumping from 80 stories, choking on smoke, trying to escape, clutching the last fraying hope, dying in pain, dying in fear. We were blessed.

After Mom died, the family doctor came wearing a red "I was a hero; I gave blood" sticker. My 9 year old cousin asked why. I said, "For the people in New York."

Three years later, the kids in that cousin's Colorado grade-school graduating class still make models of the WTC and draw NYFD badges. It doesn't matter what the radio chooses to ignore. The kids remember.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] piplover.livejournal.com
I was still sleeping. It was six in the morning when my mom called and told me to turn on the news. I went to do it, wondering what could make my normally calm mother sound so panicked. I ended up watching as the towers fell, as the people walked across the bridge in the thousands. As the dust filled the streets and the people wept.
My brother had left to join the Airforce the day before, and I was worried about him. He called later that day to tell he us was all right and they were being kept indoors at the hotel they were staying at.
I watched the tv for 15 hours that day, calling my mom frequently to keep her updated. She is a teacher and they were all at school, trying to keep the news from the kids so that children's parents could explain to them what was happening.
That night I remember thinking that I needed to do something for my country, so that things like this never happen again. Four months later I joined the Army.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 03:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allisona.livejournal.com
I'll never forget sitting in the school staffroom at lunch that day watching the events on TV. Everyone was numb and devestated and our principal said, "We have to go back to the classrooms and go on as if everything is normal. We have to stay calm and keep the kids reassured they're safe.". It was such a surreal day, pasting on that calm exterior and going ahead with the typical teaching of creative writing and science while I felt my perception of the world was flying apart.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maripo5a.livejournal.com
I had that same experience. All us teachers sort of went about our day, wondering if the world was about to end and sneaking off to the library to look at the TV there whenever we could. No-one got any work done. Every morning after that I had the radio on NPR in my classroom until the moment the kids walked in the door. I couldn't stand not to hear, and I could hardly stand to hear. I remember that intense feeling of surreality. It lasted for days or weeks. I don't think anyone can forget what happened, those people who died, that feeling of waiting, not knowing.

Re: Three years ago today

Date: 2004-09-12 07:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elycia.livejournal.com
I am so very sorry about your mother. I, too, have lost a parent to a merciless cancer that did not offer a peaceful death, so I sympathize greatly with your situation, but I cannot imagine how surreal it must have been for you under those circumstances.

I also would like to offer what condolences an LJ stranger may on the approaching anniversary of your mother's passing. I wish you peace and soothing memories to counteract the sorrowful ones you so generously shared here.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 07:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elycia.livejournal.com
For many years, both my husband and I worked for a large research university. It was a common experience for us to see our co-workers on the local news being interviewed as experts whenever an engineering or scientific issue made headlines.

A few days after 9/11, a colleague appeared on a local news special. A civil engineer with many years experience, he had studied the Trade Center design and architecture as a student and as a teacher, and he was quite familiar with the materials etc. used in building the towers. He said in the interview that he knew, the second he saw the explosions on TV, how the inferno was affecting the building's support structure, and that the buildings would come down. (He then went into a technospeak litany that lost me completely.)

I've often thought that his had to be one of the most impotent, bizarre experiences imaginable on that day. In his shoes, who would you contact to warn them? In fact, who would believe you if you did? And yet, you know that all the rescue efforts you're watching on live TV are not only in vain, but are going to cost dozens if not hundreds more lives...

I've never envied him that knowledge.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 10:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosiegardener.livejournal.com
it was early afternoon here in Europe and I was at work. A coworker told us to have a look on the internet because a terrible accident had hapened in New York...

The gradual realisation that this wasn't an accident - it was terrible

I had to stay at work for many hours yet, but I can't remember if I got anything done. I felt numb and after rumor came up that it had been a terrorist attack I had to force myself to be polite to the arab and muslim customers that came to my office. It would have been so easy to blame it on them, to condemn them. But then they wept too...
I remember my husband insisting on driving me home, he was afraid there could be an attack on the public transport in our city. We all have been afraid.
I remember the following days. People on the tube ceased to be anonymous strangers. I remember the little US-flag on my desk, minutes of silence and endless floods of tears.
I'm still not able to look at those pictures from 3 years ago without breaking into tears. I will remember.

Thank you, RSF, for posting this

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jane-somebody.livejournal.com
I was just pottering around at home, doing chores, when my sister-in-law phoned to say "turn the television on, now." I sat and watched the looped images in shock and disbelief. I had no idea then that it had affected me personally.

Only the day before, we had booked plane tickets to Washington Dulles Airport for my first ever trip to the US. A month and a half later we visited New York, where the smoke/dust from the ongoing salvage operation was still in the air. I signed one of the books of remembrance there in memory of my friend Sanae.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-09-12 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] graewolf.livejournal.com
Since so many of us are using this opportunity to tell our tales....

I was at a physical rehab center, doing knee exercises (in lieu of surgery), vaguely aware of a bank of about 12 TVs over my shoulder, lined up in front of the stationary bikes.... one by one, the TVs were showing the towers, until all of them had various feeds from the site.... Eventually the whole place stopped what they were doing, and patients and therapists all lined up in front of the TVs to watch.... many of us were crying or shaking.

I had to go home and change clothes, and go to work. On the way to my apartment, I heard that there was some sort of fire at the Pentagon, but they weren't sure how bad it was yet. When I got in and turned on the TV, I saw the clouds of dust and debris and the people running in NY, and I wondered what the hell happened... I'd just seen the first tower fall, though I didn't know it yet.

When I got to work, everyone was in the conference rooms, watching the TVs, in silence... we saw the second tower fall. There was not a dry eye in the room. A few minutes later, the boss sent us all home. I went to my mother's and we spent the rest of the day crying and watching CNN.

A friend of mine lost a cousin -- Berrie Berenson (Tony Perkins' widow) -- on the first plane that hit the towers. It was surreal seeing her name on the list of victims. I'm grateful I didn't know any of the victims personally. But I still cry over the loss of life, and the way the world changed.

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